Lady Crabtree's talks are ideally suited to the over-50s !

1. HOW TO GROW OLD DISGRACEFULLY

Lady Crabtree takes a whimsical look at growing older and shows that the advancing years are to be enjoyed, rather than endured.

With a mixture of amusing personal anecdotes, comic monologues and sage advice, Lady Crabtree shares her wry observations about various aspects of ageing, such as dealing with fashion for the over-50s; health and beauty; failing memory, lost glasses… and how to fight back against the modern age. In this celebration of maturity, Lady Crabtree will reveal that there are many advantages to growing older!

How To Grow Old Disgracefully lasts approximately 1 hour, but can be tailored in length to suit your timings.

My face in the mirror isn't wrinkled or drawn,
My house isn't dirty. The cobwebs are gone.
My garden looks lovely and so does my lawn.
I think I might never put my glasses back on.

2. GLAD TO BE GREY

For all that have heard "How To Grow Old Disgracefully" and want to hear more... this is Lady Crabtree's long awaited sequel....continuing her celebration of maturity and how to survive the advancing years.
From her suggested cure for insomnia to the answerphone message for all grandparents...from how to cope with intimidating antique shop assistants to Lady C's hatred of bar-codes.... you'll be glad to be grey!

3. YOU'RE NEVER TOO OLD

Due to public demand, another "celebration of maturity", following on from "How To Grow Old Disgracefully" and "Glad To Be Grey". More humour for the over-fifties, along with some sage advice that will get you thinking.

4. WHATEVER HAPPENED TO CHRISTMAS?

For November/December events only
If you remember when we had tangerines at Christmas and made paper chains; when cards could be posted on Christmas Eve and were delivered on Christmas Day; when people knew the story of the nativity and didn't think "Frosty the Snowman" was a carol...and when the only thing you did early was make the Christmas cake.... you might identify with Lady Crabtree's latest talk of a time when Christmas was special.
   Lady Crabtree will air her views on the modern festive season; her loathing of "round robin" letters; cards that say "Happy Holiday" and people who put up decorations in November. She will reveal some of the worst gifts that she has received, and will share her tips for sending cards to people that you don't like and how to dispose of unwanted items during December. With her wry humour and often poignant observations, plus the occasional monologue, Lady Crabtree will ask: Whatever happened to Christmas? 

THE FOUR REQUIREMENTS FOR TALKS ARE:

1. A HAND-HELD MICROPHONE (not a radio mic)
2. A SMALL TABLE TO REST A FEW PROPS ON
3. A RESERVED PARKING SPACE (if parking is a problem)
4. AN EMERGENCY MOBILE TELEPHONE CONTACT

FOR THE DAY (in case of traffic delays)